Taylor’s Ninja Rain

Taylor has named, weather systems of this sort the  ninja rain and .. i can see, yep i actually see the name…. a think Owentitist is upon me. I decided to see if i can figure out how long the attacks are going to last and went online searching for this ninja seeking out where he is hiding and how long….. well check the pic below. In my assessment we got another week to go based on the direction of the system which is northwards…. and all that is left to pass over us 

We are totally surrounded by the ninja ….and we need to find a way to get away but how do you defeat  a ninja when it is only a ninja that can beat a ninja …wi salt  .

All about my MoM

quintessential Mother rare and so true,
a needed breath of freash air
whenever i am grey and blue.
quintessential Mother effervescing spirit
the beacon of my soul,
the keeper of family, that bonds it and ensures the whole.
quintessential Mother, of yourself you gave it all
tho’ you were not the wisest
through you …today i stand tall.     Written by (who else) me of course

I love my mother without any question although she would argue otherwise. Even at this very stage of her life i would expose my life to death on her behalf, though logically that would seem foolhardy. But seriously does love usually makes sense? i think not.

Due to circumstances my mother has had to move in with me. She is 66 yrs old, yep a young gal but unfortrunately, her condition is more that of someone in her late 80s. Reason being she had …mmmm? how do i put this ..she had an “accident”. My mom is diabetic so there will be times when intermittently she’ll experience high or low glucose levels which can cause her to get dizzy, weak, or even faint. Now she in her infinite wisdom saw it fit to climb an ackee tree. Which of course she fell from, thus sustaining serious head injuries . Of course she survived but not without paying a price …the cost, nerve damages plus the whole of her leftside being weaken immensely.

So, what would normally be a mundane routine for anyone else her age, is a serious load of work for her ..eg just putting on her clothes.

Anyways this is not what this is about i have now found myself in the position of living out that bible adage “once a man twice a child” …. with my mom basically being slowly reduced to child like existence. But her spirit is that of a 60 yr old …. then mix that with a extremely fierce pride mmmhhm …and what you get is …whalla a son in deep shit. But my love for her is as far as i am concerned is unmeasurable, and it is this love that drives me, provides me with the vim and vigour to easily ..and do note easily get by.

However i have now reached a new dilemma she seems to be developing arthritis of the hip …now let us pause a bit here. In all my life i have only been exposed to physical contact with nakedness, with a woman when we are going to make love, screw, sex, fu$k, whatever idiom suits you.

Ok where were we … yes the hip that troublesome hip… i am now finding myself being called upon to apply icy hot to her entire hip  …. and mi nah tell no lie mi feel awkward bad bad bad …. and is me she calling all the time. Whoooeeee this situation is testing the very fibres of my love for her in ways a can’t imagine.

This is the woman who raised me in what she thought was the best and most appropriate way and trust me she made sacrifices that even to this day i rate her for it. But Jah know star, this is so weird for me … a wonder if you guys get the picture here, i am rubbing on this icyhot thingy into her entire waist line directly on to her skin …..

MOM a love yuh but a bawling out for help LORD do hear my cry .

Peter Pan ROCKS!!!!!!!

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”  - Dave Barry

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” - Sophia Loren

I guess with every thing else it is all in the mind. I don’t have a problem with either female or male talking down to someone where age is concerned as long as it is legal.  But this not where i am going with this. I not encouraging no Lotitas around here.

I was recently accused of being a 25yr old trapped in a 40yr old body. It did not upset me to say the least but it got me a thinking. On what basis  that verbal indictment was passed? So i looked at myself, deeply examining my persona and bulleted the following that i know about myself:

• I take responsibility for all that i say and do
• I donot like wishy washy hand shakes it disturbes the foundation of trust for me
• My word is my absolute bond in any type of relatonship
• I have total and absolute respect for all woman who respects themself, and respect those who don’t
• I have the mental fortitude to conduct business at any level and i have never failed to impress with my very open minded approach.
• No matter what type of relationship i have with a female, when in her company i accord her the gentleman gestures she deserves (i don’t have to be banging her like some men believe)
• I take seriously the responsibility that belongs to me has the “man” for my home, especially everyone’s security. I am never scured, don’t fear death nor injury when it comes to those under my care, even though i do have some issues
• I always use every oppurtunity i get to educate the ignorant and teens on their rights as a citizen of Jamaica. I also think it is my duty to educate in regards to tryin to be independent, respecting yourself, and the benefits of achieving a higher learning.
• I take my duties as citizen of my country maybe too serious, voting is a must, break no law unless i had no choice, no throwing of nothing through my car window i don’t care who the hell you are. i even had the choice of legitimately declining from doing juror duties and i opt to go ..mmmm must post about that one day they even voted me in as foreman.
• I have held officer postions in different service organisation the most recent being in my community association. To serve is a must.

I think you all got the drift so let me say no more. So how is it i am considered to be a 25yr old trapped in 40 yr old body which i actually love, the grey hairs look good , only thing missin is the once wash board abs, and i gain this bike tyre around my waist, note bike not car. I intend to keep it at bike, hopefully  :P      So what it is about my behaviour that has illicited the comment, this is my take on it:

• I am always singing to myself enjoy the sound of my voice
• I listen to Neyo Usher and  all those now a days young people music, added to that i listen them loudly in my car and i sing along while i am driving oooh and i even dance while driving … oooh and do they stare guess they grudge me because i don’t have the weight of the world on my back.
• I take my PSP ..yes MY psp (hand held game console) to the bank with me while waiting to be served and i’ll play SOCOM i actually get to hunt terorrist and cap them MF stopping them from taking over the world no more 9/11 around here. ooooohhh and again they stare of course i am enjoying myself not being frustrated and shouting out why the hell the service is so poor in here y’all need more tellers and a whole host of annoying utterances
• I dance and i don’t mean the after drinking a few in the club dancing, nope i dance at home on the front lawn, in the rain, love the rain, where ever the music hit me i’ll dance. I am told i look like a drunken dinosaur trying to keep his balance ….hehe
• I like giving trouble here in cyber world and more so in the real world. Although to some people annoyance at times … them tooo stiff sorry fi them.
• I love cartoons i even have a series that i watch Avatar … never missed one love it, normally i try not to miss super friends, batman, xmen, yogi…. to name a few
• Any where i see children playing and i have the time i’ll join in and play with them no matter how i am dressed and it is strictly first name basis for me and them, i aint nobody’s uncle not wearing that as some freaking title. Disrespect has never been a problem with me and any child, love conquers all. They dis, and then they will be banned from having fun with me.  So all the children at my daughter school know me and all the parents wonder how is it i get through to their child so easily.

Those are things i have noticed, that has drawn out similar type comments suggesting that i am immature. Guess it will be Peter pan for me forever then, cause this is just who i am 40 and free …… YIIIIPPPPEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

For Theme song

Seventeen Kids…17, yep

Well it is as you see it 17 children, i kinda think kids are baby goats, ..ok how come i’m blogging about a couple who has 17 kids … ooppps chilrdren. Just ride with me on this. I got this fwd yep i am one of the fwd junkie, titled 17 kids so i was like what the hell is this and when i opened it lo and behold some pics of a family with seventeen children. Immediately i named them the rabbit family cause a only rabbit me see breed so much fi  mammal.

Can anyone visiualize seventeen children under the same roof in Jamaica, damn, especially now a days, blow wow just the thought of it is hectic and that woman 17 times .. that is like 10 yrs and mash she was not able to see her toes. She good …. oh oh least i forget the name of the couple are The Duggars. They hail from USA… where else please, Arkansa one of those states we rarely here about unless it is some scary movie or some weird kinda stuff like….guess this count then uhh?

Here is a feature done on them if you are just as curious as i am … and obviously needing a life ——>       feature. Oh and they even have a web site too ……. well  guess that is nothing special cause i got a web site…. and if i have one then i guess anyone can. Just click on their name above. Seventeen god damn children under one roof, the noise, the head ache, the …..aaaarrrggghhh thinking about it just …. rattle mi nerves rattle it bad … them good mi nah lie them good.

For this post theme song

Rainy Saturday

And it rained and it rained and it rained …from wednesday we been having rain. Not anything heavy, mostly intermittent through out. I love the rain, i will go outside and walk in the rain enjoying the massage of the rain drops wishing i could do away with all my apparel. Mmmmmm, actually i have done that before… but that is another story.

This time however the rain vexed me, well nah actually i vexed myself, but not good at blaming myself, and since the rain don’t mind a going to blame it.  :) 

             

This is the aftermath of the debacle the rain caused. We own two cars so one has to be parked on the lawn (mi lawn dead now), recognising that the rain was a nagger, ……wonder whats her name, ………..anyyyy way where was i …yes it being a nagger i said to my honey … ….yes that is what we call each other, honey!! …..hmmph, …..”i don’t think we should park the car on the lawn cause the rain might put us in some trouble when it is time to move it.”

And guess who still went ahead and park it there ….. :(    (mi nah talk)

So the rain with all its wickedness stuck mi car and kill mi lawn.

Furtherance to my day, i experienced not one of my better moods, so i penned this to provide an outlet…. click

The best pick up line ever

Heard this man trying to convince a lady that they were connected and she should give him the time of the day.

Man: mmmhhmm you look so fine

Woman: Is waste yuh wasting your time cause i’m already spoken for

Man: Cho i am not worried about that cause he is on borrowed time

Woman: Oh really now, a hear yuh

Man: No man fi real cause every woman belong to me. I am the gift to all women.

Woman: Ha Ha Ha Ha nuh mek mi laugh….. and the Bomb is going to drop now

Man: No fi real, them other man only give you girls them ribs, but all ladies have my genes in them and is just me to activate them and then the pheromones kick in and its all over. But because i not greedy i just ensure that i always have two and mek them guys just get a borrows. So when a ready for you, you have no choice but to come to me.

He then blows a kiss at her, the woman was in stiches smiling in total glee, telling him bye with a big smile on her face. Makes you wonder if he’s right mmmm?

Remnants from my past

I was going through some of my high school stuff that i still had, you know a likkle nostalgia, when i came across one of ….the weirdest thing i have ever participated in, it is a certificate of consent, now i have reproduced this document with all its errors and w..well with every written word as is. 

This is a document, that was created by a group of us guys because we just didn’t know better. It was during high school days, when mechcanical type writers existed. We had a need to communicate clearly and effectively, what was needed with out all that tirade to wade through so…. we  …. well take a look below.

CERTIFICATE OF CONSENT

This is to certify that the undersigned  (a female) do consent and intend to indulge in and enjoy sexual intercourse with Mr…………………………………………..

I do hereby declare that i am above the age limit. I am in my right mind and not mentally or emotionally distrubed.

I consent i am not under the onfluence of any drug neither HE, (the aboved named) have to use any threats nor promise to influence me.

I am in no fear of him whatsoever, i do not expect him to marry me or i marry him.

I do not know if he is married or not, nor do i care.

I am not a Nyphomanic but because it is natrual desire to have sexual intercourse.

I intend to INDULGE to the fullest.

If I receive the satisfisfaction I expect I an willing to agree to further INTERCOURSE with the above named if he so desire.

Further more, I agree not to appear as a witness in court against him or to prosecute him whatsoever the consequences of our intercourse may be.

(signed before Slipping of my panties)

This day of ………………………………………………………………………………..

I am Miss/Mrs ………………………………………………………………………….

Other wise called ………………………………………………………………………

Signature     ………………………………………………………………………………..

this is a site disclaimer: this document is copyrighted, also, if used with out consent we will not be held responsible for any box down, immediate malice or any other action that could result and cause you embarrassment and emotional pain, from you passing it on for its intended purpose. So feel free to use it

BTW is there any ladies out there interested to sign…….

New Maths

 For those who knew, Ma and Pa kettle were a funny bunch, but i never knew that they were also geniuses, cause they have shown me, that all along i had no clue, no clue at all.. click, and you’ll see that, you are all, just as cluless as i am.

My Most Moments

I was reflecting on my life with my daughter sharing some of the really pleezing and sordid details of my life, the pg 13 ones, and this blog idea came to me. Some of the MOMENTS of my life ….. so without further ado ( put moments @ the end of each intro sentence)

1. The tuffest bad boy :- Car incident in the traffic, this crazy ass fool decided on forcing his way in front of me, i don’t know if it was because it is a lada but he almost caused me to crashed. Now i had my baby kedked in the car, and on seeing that i almost could have lost her, i saw red. Drove this guy down who was in a nice camary ….. us playing police and tief in the streets, we got caught in some traffic near where i used to live, knowing this and that i had the backative of the community i bruk the one way and turned my vehicle across the road blocking the slowly moving traffic and then decided on attacking the fool who was about five cars away from me, he did a u turn and got away.
2. Worst fool fool moment :- Stepping off a roof, use to play dominoes religiously on this roof, …now my partner and i was giving it to them, had the pair 7 love and twelve love was in sight, really needed to pee but decided not to get up and change the  aura of game, so i held out until 11 love, …..you know, took them to gate, …..the piss was really on me now, and was affecting my concentration, so i decided on doing it, pissing, on the next door nieghbours roof, i should let you know that both houses are attached, so i ran off into the darkness of the night swearing that i was stepping on to next door’s roof, and then whoooosh the rest is history.
3. Most joyful :- Holding my dawta, my kedked, my one pop, my couple mintues old angel in my arms, i actually looked at her head when it started to pop out, and looked after she came out …guys don’t do it don’t look, trust me.
4. Most awful :- Got high on some really good indika, ganja for those who came late, actually it was so good, it took me too high …high high….higher than St Andrew High, where was high..  oppps, I… i actually stuck my head in the freezer to cool it dwn  just was not comfortable with losing control. Damn!!!! never smoked again after that.
5. Best Ego :- Being picked as a premium candidate for a male auctioning, i attended this staff party with some of my girl friend’s  friends…. one of the activity for the nite was a male auctioning, volunteers were asked to step forword and some brave fools decided to go forward,…. seven step forward none was sold, both of my girl friends friend , came back, coincidentally with the same story, to let us now that couple ladies wouldn’t mind paying for me. My head swelled a nearly couldn’t get out of the building.
6. Most frightening :- Watched “Brides of Dracula” when i was about 12 -13 yrs old, scared the shite out of me, me and my sibblings huddled up waiting for our parents to get home, cause KFC was on the menu, and you needed to be home when it arrived, or yuh goose cook. Well for some strange reason they were late and it was JBC in those days and 9:30pm movies caught us and yes it was brides of dracula and nobody moved, not even to piss the huddle got really tight, and even thoguh the night was really cool, cold sweat wash wi……. that was scary.
7. Most painful :- It is a toss up between cracked bone and tooth ache, the cracked bone occurred because i decided to jump from George Headly stand in Sabina Park on to the field. When i fell both legs flew from beneath me and all my weight ended up on both of my hands’ wrist. I thought they were just sprained but it turned out that one was broken and i found this out due to complete loss of sleep. ….tooth ache robbed me of sleep also.
8. Most embarrassing :- I poohed in my pants, yes i shite up myself, there i said it and this was after i had long passed 25yrs of age, the least said about that the better.  :(     …. i was not going to stop at number seven, think this seven thing getting out of hand and a not stopping at eight did eight the last time so here we go……..
9. Most awsome :- Took two and a half hours from a district 5miles on the out skirts of Frome Westmoreland ie 5 extra miles i had to drive to Spanish Town, my nissan gts fully stocked, not mod, entertained me home, on that day she was so primed and fit i just had to let her loose, this during in my mid twenties era, actually i lost a water pipe after passing thru Old Harbour and limped to Spanish twn …. lost the engine too……. but it was fun.

There those are some of the fit for air play moments that i can share …. i had fun doing this …… really did, cause it took me to memory lane maybe one day i might tap in on the more R rated stuff ….. if anyone intends on trying this pleeeez let me know, so i can get a read zeen.

Sexy Hot

Hey if you like being stimulated well peruse this blog by Debbie. I want a train ride right now …….and spot that vixen and just look in her eyes…… shorty where are you???