I strolled through the fence riding on the wave feeling the cool spray of liquid salt on my face, the metal leviathans glared their fangs daring me. I held my stance. I crossed over the vast ocean feeling the fire, it burned my feet, the heat glimmered and bites at my face these annoying fire flys. Try as they may i am intent on meeting her, the tormentor of my soul. Her fiery screech burns deep inside and i have only crossed half way. The hive loomed above filled with lazy ants …busy they seem. I merged through a door she sat there glaring, daring me using her proboscis to threaten my life energy.
I sat in a chair …carefully, knowing that the lounge was a death trap. I needed to be tormented, it is a magnetic pull that i cannot resist. The teacher in white continues to threaten with each heave of her chest. I sigh she knows my desire and vomits, scaring me with her outburst and closes my senses, the goal is my only aim i kick hard to score. The banshee materialise before my very eyes summoned. Angelic, but it is just a farce, the throng of soldiers forces us apart trampling on my apples. I reached out to touch her fingers amazingly elongated i am surprised the skills i have. She smiles.
…help i need a dictionary Proboci who????
…..aanyway a great first attempt, but not abstract enough i think…it had a general theme which i could kinda follow (that is scary that i said that), but i kinda got that…..it needs to be that after you finish reading you go HUH!!!!!! AH wah dat…
You need to get owen and MB to “grade” you…..i need some alone time before i attempt this….
looking forward to the others to come….
“Owentitist” seems like a odd word.
ok, lets see. I’m not a english professor, but your missing a couple of commas, brackets and dashes which makes it harder (but not impossible) to read - really. It flows though, you manage to keep the character through to the end.
Example: I strolled through the fence(comma) riding on the wave(comma or dash) feeling the cool spray of liquid salt on my face(full stop) The metal leviathans glared their fangs
Pretty good except I don’t see a reason why she should vomit, the images of a bad pornographic horror movie and the bad punctuation. I give it a 8/10.
@ Owen ok teach do better next time… want a 10/10 … oh yeah!!
wat the hell is a owen
struups i r not a fan of abstract, u and mad bull driving me crazy
mi waah hear the suss
hmph!
I just hate when ants take up my stuff. I know where you’re coming from. Good stuff, supa.
I’m with Irie Diva
I like abstract painting and sculpture fine enough but this is much too much for me
I LIKE!!! Good attempt. I agree with Owen’s grade. You get an ‘A’
mr man ur male post is up
interesting lil post ^_^
Intersting is one word for the post. Not that I was able to understand it. dwl. Not really into the abstract thing. Maybe I’ll show it to wifey and ask her to explain.
dude, fine attempt i must say. prof lecturer is right…8/10. are we talking about mosquitoes at one time? sample this….”she sat there glaring, daring me using her proboscis to threaten my life energy. I sat in a chair …carefully, knowing that the lounge was a death trap….”
keep at it. utatoboa na utatushangaza….(slang for you’ll make it and surprise us)
Nice story, but you used a lot of “big words,” which broke the reading flow. You had to spend too long trying to interpret the words instead of actually reading.
a tru u dunce man!
oops….did i say that out loud?
bwoy i must be a real dunce bcz all now i not understanding it at all. Bobby! shed some light on this for me.
Good attempt Bobby, following closely in the footsteps of Owen. See, him give yuh all 8/10 fi yuh first attempt!
Very interesting post… you definitely have skills! *wink*
I was teleported to your waiting area and saw you drooling. Nice
nice.. not bad at all. Since i lost my htc i’ve been a bit depressed i guess so i shunned from the internet.